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Why 82% of Leaders Get This Wrong: The Real Secret to Bringing Out the Best in Others

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Right, let's get one thing straight from the get-go. I've spent the better part of two decades watching managers fumble around trying to "motivate" their teams, and frankly, most of them have got it completely arse-backwards.

Just last month, I was consulting with a mid-tier construction firm in Melbourne - won't name names, but their team turnover was through the roof. The operations manager pulls me aside and says, "We've tried everything! Pizza Fridays, team-building retreats, even brought in a bloody motivational speaker." And I'm thinking, mate, you've missed the point entirely.

Here's what nobody wants to admit: bringing out the best in others isn't about what you do TO them, it's about what you stop doing to them.

I learned this the hard way back in 2010 when I was managing a team of 15 at a logistics company in Brisbane. Had this brilliant analyst - let's call her Sarah - who'd been underperforming for months. I kept piling on the feedback, the check-ins, the "development opportunities." Classic micromanagement disguised as leadership development.

Then one day, Sarah storms into my office and says, "Just tell me what you want me to achieve and get out of my bloody way." Best piece of feedback I ever received.

The Three Things Most Leaders Do Wrong

First mistake: They confuse control with care. You see this everywhere. Managers who think showing they care means knowing every detail of every project. Wrong. Caring means trusting people enough to let them solve problems their own way.

Second: They focus on weaknesses instead of amplifying strengths. I've seen countless performance reviews that spend 80% of the time on "areas for improvement" and barely mention what someone does exceptionally well. It's mental.

Third mistake - and this one really gets my goat - they assume everyone is motivated by the same things they are. Not everyone wants your corner office, mate. Some people are driven by autonomy, others by mastery, some just want to go home at 5pm knowing they've made a difference.

Look, I'll be honest with you. For years, I bought into that whole "people are your greatest asset" nonsense without really understanding what it meant. I thought it meant having an open-door policy and remembering everyone's birthday.

What Actually Works (And Why Most People Won't Do It)

Here's the thing that'll make you uncomfortable: bringing out the best in others requires you to be genuinely interested in who they are as people, not just what they can do for you. And that takes time. Real time. Not the 15-minute coffee catch-ups where you're checking your phone.

I started doing something radical about five years ago. Once a month, I'd take each team member out for a proper lunch - somewhere decent, not the bloody cafeteria - and I'd ask them one simple question: "What's the most interesting challenge you're working on right now?"

Not "How's your workload?" or "Any blockers I can help with?" Just... what's genuinely capturing your attention?

The responses were eye-opening. My accountant was fascinated by process automation. My sales manager was obsessed with customer psychology. My admin assistant had ideas about improving client onboarding that were frankly better than anything our senior team had come up with.

But here's the kicker - and this is where most leaders chicken out - you have to actually act on what you learn.

When someone tells you they're passionate about something, you don't just nod and file it away. You create opportunities for them to dive deeper into that passion, even if it's not their "official" job description.

The Uncomfortable Truth About Talent

Here's what 17 years in business has taught me: everyone - and I mean everyone - has at least one thing they're naturally brilliant at. The problem is, most workplaces are designed to make people feel ordinary rather than extraordinary.

We're obsessed with standardisation, with everyone fitting into neat little job descriptions and competency frameworks. It's efficient, sure, but it's also soul-crushing.

I once worked with a receptionist who had an uncanny ability to read people's moods and adjust her approach accordingly. Instead of just answering phones, she became our unofficial client relationship barometer. Best customer service feedback we ever received came after she started doing her thing.

But it never would've happened if we'd stuck to the "receptionist duties" listed in her contract.

What This Looks Like in Practice

Right, enough theory. Let me give you some practical stuff you can actually implement tomorrow.

Start with genuine curiosity. Ask people about their weekend projects, their side hustles, what they're reading, what problems they're solving outside of work. You'll be amazed at the hidden talents sitting right under your nose.

Create stretch assignments that align with natural interests. If someone mentions they love problem-solving, don't just give them more of the same work - give them the weird, complex stuff that's been sitting in the "too hard" basket.

Celebrate the hell out of small wins. Not with generic "great job" emails, but by specifically calling out what made their approach unique or valuable.

Give people permission to experiment. This is huge. Most people are dying to try new approaches but are terrified of stuffing up. Create safe spaces for intelligent failure.

The Melbourne Experiment

About two years ago, I convinced a client to try something radical. Instead of traditional performance reviews, we instituted "talent discovery sessions." Same time commitment, completely different focus.

Instead of rating people on predetermined criteria, we asked three questions:

  1. What energises you most about your current role?
  2. What would you love to try if you knew you couldn't fail?
  3. What's one thing you do outside of work that you wish you could bring into your job?

The results? Employee engagement scores jumped 34% in six months. But more importantly, we discovered capabilities we never knew existed. The quiet guy from IT turned out to be a natural trainer. The marketing manager had exceptional analytical skills that were being completely wasted.

Where Most People Go Wrong With This

Now, before you go running off to implement this stuff, let me warn you about the most common trap. People hear "bring out the best in others" and they immediately think it means being soft or lowering standards.

Bollocks.

Setting high expectations and believing in people's ability to meet them isn't contradictory - it's complementary. The best leaders I know are simultaneously the most demanding and the most supportive.

They're demanding because they see potential that others miss. They're supportive because they know that unleashing that potential requires psychological safety and genuine investment.

The Australian Advantage

Here's something I've noticed working with teams across different cultures: Australians have a natural advantage when it comes to bringing out the best in others. We're generally pretty good at cutting through corporate BS and having real conversations.

But we also have a tendency to downplay achievement and avoid making people feel "too special." This can backfire when you're trying to develop talent.

I learned this working with a team in Sydney where the manager was so worried about seeming "up himself" that he never acknowledged exceptional work. People started thinking their efforts didn't matter.

What Nobody Talks About

Here's the part that most leadership books won't tell you: bringing out the best in others will change you as much as it changes them.

When you start seeing people as collections of unique capabilities rather than interchangeable resources, you become a fundamentally different kind of leader. You stop trying to manage people and start trying to understand them.

It's messier, more complex, and occasionally frustrating. But it's also the most rewarding thing you'll ever do professionally.

The Bottom Line

Look, I could give you a checklist of "Seven Steps to Unlock Human Potential" or some other buzzword-laden nonsense. But the truth is simpler and harder than that.

Bringing out the best in others requires you to genuinely care about their success, not just their productivity. It means investing time in understanding what makes them tick, creating opportunities for them to shine, and being brave enough to let them do things differently than you would.

Most leaders aren't willing to do this because it requires patience, humility, and the uncomfortable realisation that your way isn't always the best way.

But if you can get comfortable with that discomfort, you'll discover something remarkable: when people feel truly seen and valued for their unique contributions, they don't just meet expectations - they obliterate them.

And that's when the real magic happens.

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